Friday, July 23, 2010

See

See me now, see my tears
See me on my bed.
I'm laying face down, my pillow is wet.
Why does this hurt? Why am I so sad?

I ache inside, my heart is broken.
Why can't I see?

The tears flow down,
and all my emotions scream.
Why can't I see?

Why can't I see what is happening?
Why must I wait?
Why can't I know why this pains grows?
Why must the pain grow more intense?
Haven't I suffered enough?

I hurt, I cry.
I need You, oh Most High.
Oh God, hear my voice.
See my tears, hold me close.
Help me see, what You want from me.

All happens for a reason,
though some things seem odd.
You let things happen for a reason,
God, You make me stronger!

Through some trials, things may not fit,
I can't see the whole puzzle.
I don't know the reasons.

God, help this piece see its purpose in the puzzle.
Help me see what I need to do.
Help me grow closer to You.

I hurt, I cry.
I need You, oh Most High.
Oh God, hear my voice.
See my tears, hold me close.
Help me see, what You want from me.

I don't always understand why,
I don't always see,
But I know that You know what's best,
I know You'll see me through.

Just please give me the strength to go on,
give me the words to say.

I'm healed, my tears are dried.
I needed You, oh Most High.
Oh God, You heard my voice.
You saw my tears, You held me close.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Student Life 2010

Okay, so I went to Student Life Camp this past week with my church. It was so totally awesome!!!!!!!!

Pastor Matt Chandler was the speaker and Aaron Keyes and his band were the worship leaders.

I learned many things this week, and I learned to trust God more. I know no matter what was going on, He was always there. God knew what was gonna happen.

It was so different than the other camps I've gone to, but a good kind of different. What was really awesome is I watched most of the guys in my group singing. I know, you're like so what? What was different than other guys I knew is that the guys from my church were worshiping. They weren't just singing to sing. It was soooo awesome! Yeah, there were guys I knew that sang, but it didn't go all the way down to their hearts. These guys, they are all in!

Matt Chandler is an awesome pastor(tied up there with Pastor JD, Jason Gaston, and Mark Driscoll :) ) His message the very first day really struck me. He talked about fixing the problem, not just the symptoms.

He said the problems are
-that we are guilty of of preferring God's stuff more than we prefer Him
-We think we are smarter than God
-all of us have failed to acknowledge God
-failing to acknowledge God makes you begin this spiral that takes you
further from God

These points, this whole message, remind me of so many times at camp of people making decisions. Not that these weren't good, like giving up smoking, reading your Bible more, etc., but they(including me) were making the same decisions every year at camp or a conference. It was like a spiritual shot, keeping us going until the 'buzz' wears off. For some it takes just a week for that shot to get old before they go back to old habits or forget to read their Bibles. Others it can last longer, but the problem wasn't solved. We hadn't really changed. We had only fixed the symptoms.

Matt Chandler said is we need to heal the problem. When we do, the symptoms just fade away.

Now I'm going back to my things from this week.

So God did miraculous things at camp.

I said that God has shown me how to trust in Him no matter what. It's a long story, way to long to write here, but something happened that was hard, really hard. I hurt so badly inside. I think I wouldn't have lasted the whole week if it hadn't been for Him. God helped me through it and now everything's awesome :)
God also helped a friend of mine return back to Him. It's an awesome story!

The sermons and the worship were so awesome! Many lives, I believe, have been changed this week.
It was amazing!

Thank you Jason Gaston for making this week possible! Wish you had been there with us!

Thank you Amy Kendall, Stephanie Windon, Brandon Hudson, and Andy Rush for coming with us and putting up with all of us highschoolers ;) I had so much fun talking and hanging out with y'all!

Love y'all!

~Erin