Crazy Love

So my dad gave me Crazy Love by Francis Chan to read today. He told me to read chapters 5-6 and give my thoughts on it.....so here goes...

Whoa, okay, so the fifth chapter, 'Serving Leftovers to a Holy God'...ouch...

I have to admit, when I was reading the first part of this chapter, I was having trouble.

It's about lukewarmness...

All my life, I have always thought that lukewarmness was talking about us Christians. How if we aren't on fire for God, but we don't just ignore Him, we were in-between, a lukewarm Christian.

What Mr. Francis says in his book though, is "...a lukewarm Christian is an oxymoron; there's no such thing."

I was like, wait...what? This was going against some things that I grew up with the knowledge of, but there have been a lot of things like that in the past year, things that made sense after I studied them.

After he says this, he gives the passage in the Bible where Jesus talks about 'lukewarmness.'

Revelation 3:15-18

15"'I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! 16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. 17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see."

So, how do you look at this and think that it is talking about Christians? How did I? Jesus was talking to a church, yes, a church of supposed Jesus followers. So if you just pull this out of the passage and teach it, yeah, everyone thinks Jesus is talking about Christians, talking to you.

In a way, it could be.

Jesus was saying to the church here, that because they are lukewarm, He is going to spit them out of His mouth. Francis Chan then says "When you read this passage, do you naturally conclude that to be 'spit' out of Jesus' mouth means you're a part of His kingdom? ...When He counsels them to 'buy white clothes to wear' in order to cover their 'shameful nakedness,' does it sound like advice for those already saved?
I thought people who were saved were already made white and clothed by Christ's blood."

How was this church lukewarm? They weren't giving their all. They were giving only halfway. They weren't real Christians. That's what it meant. Jesus saw their hearts and was disappointed. They said they were Christians, they walked the walk, talked the talk, but they hadn't really given their hearts to Him.

Jesus says it a lot in the Gospels, He wants it all, or nothing. Don't give only a little.

In light of the parable of the soils, looking at the plants in rocky and thorny soil, the author says this; "I wanted to know if the person representing the rocky soil is saved, even though he has no root. I wondered about the thorny soil: Is this person saved since he does have root?
...Is this idea of the non-fruit-bearing Christian something that we have concocted in order to make Christianity 'easier'? So we can follow our own course while still calling ourselves followers of Christ? So we can join the Marines, so to speak, without having to do all the work?'

Umm, so then Chan starts talking about questions you ask yourself, you know what I mean. The questions such as, 'If I'm ashamed about talking about Christ, will Jesus really deny knowing me? If my boyfriend and I cross some lines in our relationship, am I really a Christian?' the list goes on.

You know what I'm talking about. We are all guilty of doing this. You know what's really bad about it though? Question like these show whats in our hearts. It shows what we really think about, our chance of going to heaven instead of what we really should be thinking about. Jesus Christ.

You can think about Jesus, you can say you know Him, but do you follow Him? You're like yeah. I follow Jesus everyday! I tithe, read my Bible, and I pray. I might even give a few extra dollars in the offering plate on Sunday. I'm in church every time the doors are open.

You can say you know God, but like in James it says, 'You believe God is one; you do well. Even demons believe-and shudder!' Chapter 3 verse 19. Look back at verse 17, 'So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.'

That, saying you know Jesus but not doing what He says to do, is halfway worship. That is being lukewarm.

Giving a little extra money in the church and things like that is giving God your leftovers. That's not giving your all for Jesus.

Jesus told us to go and make disciples. 'Go and teach all nations' He said. Hanging out in a church building and making converts isn't that. That isn't exactly what He said, or meant.

All God wants is our love, our devotion, our attention. He wants us to focus on Him and help others see Him, so that they to can feel His love and give it back. God measures us by how we love.

When I read these things, it showed me how great Jesus loves me. I'll fail in all these things every single day. I'll not love like I should be, or I'll chicken out of showing someone God's love. Ugh, I fail everyday, I'll have a bit of lukewarmness in me everyday. Does this mean that I'm not truly saved? Nope. Not since I'm a true believer. Jesus' grace covers me and covers it all. Because I have this, you can see in the Bible, that there is room for my failure and sin in pursuit of God.

After reading this, it makes me want to make sure I'm all in. I don't want to only give parts of me, I want to give all of me!

In light of going on missions trips this summer, this book, I feel, is challenging me to not give partway in all that I could do. I believe that He would want me to make sure I'm doing all that I can out there.

Who Knew?

~Who knows what is going on? Who knows who you are? Who knows what's going to happen, and helps you through trials?
~God. He is the one Who knows everything. He loves you, no matter what He knows.
~You may have been bad, you may have been good, but we all have sinned and fallen short of Him.
~He knows what you've done, but loves anyway. God is forgiving, and He loves you and me!
~God. He is the one that knows everything. He loves you, no matter what He knows.
~He knows what you're going through, though you think He doesn't care. I promise, He does, God cares!
~God. He knows what we've done, we sinned against Him, but He loved us anyway!
~His Son, Jesus Christ, saw through our sin and cared.
~He knew our hearts, but stayed on the cross.
~We despised Him, you and I.
~We rejected Him, the Son of God.
~Why did He? Why did He love, when He knew what we'd do?
~We killed Him, you and I. We hung Him on a tree.
~He was beaten and scarred, for people like us. He died...for a sinner like me.
~He did this, He died and rose again, because He knew. He knew one day we'd turn around, and see His love.
~He loves and cares for you.
~So when you think no one knows, no one cares. Remember that there is One, the One who really matters. He cares for you, He cares for me.
~Jesus, the Son, knows who you are. He knows your every thought, your every move. He knows all this, but still cares.
~Jesus, you are my Comforter, my hope.

The One

You are the One,
You are Love.
You make things whole,
You change lives.

You are the One,
You died on a tree.
You loved me,
a sinner now made free.

The One, He loves me.
The One, He loves you.
The One, He loves all!
Glory be to the One!
All praise to Him, the One.

You are the One,
The Vine are You.
You are my Comforter,
Prince of Peace, King.

You are the One,
King over all the creatures,
including me.
You are the Father, Holy Spirit, Son.

The One, He loves me.
The One, He loves you.
The One, He loves all!
Glory be to the One!
All praise to Him, the One.

You are the One,
Worthy of all praise.
You are the King,
We worship You.

The One, He loves me.
The One, He loves you.
The One, He loves all!
Glory be to the One!
All praise to Him, the One.

Jesus, You are the One.
Jesus, You are the King.
You reign over everything.
Jesus, You are the One.

Be the One for me,
You are all I need.

Praise to the One,
Father, Spirit, Son.
Praise to the Holy One.

You are the One,
You always were,
You always are,
You always will be.

The One, the One,
For me!

John 15 Part one

John 15:1 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser."

The words are in red, so this is Jesus talking. So Jesus is the True Vine and God, His Father, is the vinedresser or gardener.

15:2 "...every branch that does bear fruit He[God] prunes, that it bear more fruit."

Pruning sounds painful, doesn't it? When you look at a tree getting pruned, it looks like the gardener is hurting the tree. In reality, it helps keep the tree healthy. Say a small peach tree has grown a bunch of new branches. The tree is putting all its nutrients towards those new branches and less towards fruit. Now a good gardener will see this and prune off some off the new branches. In doing so, he helps the tree focus more off its nutrients on the fruit than new growth.

What Jesus is talking about here is like that in a way, but 'pruning' for us isn't cutting off a limb(thank goodness!!) its trials.

When God sends trials our way, where the Bible says 'that it may bear more fruit', pruning makes the tree stronger. For us, the trials make us stronger and hopefully closer to God.

Trials come to everyone, whether they are small things or hard trials. I have had a little bit of both, small 'branches' and a little more developed 'branches' pruned off. It hurts, it almost always does. Even then though, I knew God was with me. I grew closer to Him. They strengthened my relationship with Him.

That is why God sends trials to us. To help us grow closer to Him. Its not because He doesn't love us, its the opposite. He doesn't want us turning to other things when we hurt. He wants our attention always focused on Him, no matter what.

Things I've Learned

Now that I have started school, I looked back over the past year. Wow, so much has changed since the first day of school last year. I go to a different church, new friends, and I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be.

I feel like this past year, I've grown closer to God in many ways. That's the biggest change I feel like. I have gone through many things this past year. Challenges. Trials. But even through those things, I knew Who was with me. They brought me closer to Him.

I believe that those things happened for a reason. I may not know the reason now, I definitely didn't know then, but He always has a plan for these things.

Going on Missions Trips helped me a lot to. If you haven't gone on one, I definitely recommend going on one. For me, it showed just how much the world needs God. It made me want to follow through with the Great Commission. It kindled the fire inside me and made me want to show others the glory of the Gospel even more. It was an awesome thing.

Even if you can't go over seas, you can still go on one. Your school can be a mission field. My student pastor Jason is always telling us that, though hard for me because I'm home schooled, it probably applies to you.

There were times this year when I thought I couldn't go on. I wanted things to go back to normal, but I knew they couldn't. My life is different now than it used to be. I don't think I could ever be that same person again. My life is centered on the Cross. I have my own Jesus now. I'm not looking at Him through someone's eyes, I see Him through my own! You can read more about that part of my life in my posts 'My Change' and 'My Testimony'.

I'm still growing closer to Him. I hope to keep growing in that way until I'm actually with Him, I don't think we can get any closer than we are then ha-ha.

After this past year, I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year.

See

See me now, see my tears
See me on my bed.
I'm laying face down, my pillow is wet.
Why does this hurt? Why am I so sad?

I ache inside, my heart is broken.
Why can't I see?

The tears flow down,
and all my emotions scream.
Why can't I see?

Why can't I see what is happening?
Why must I wait?
Why can't I know why this pains grows?
Why must the pain grow more intense?
Haven't I suffered enough?

I hurt, I cry.
I need You, oh Most High.
Oh God, hear my voice.
See my tears, hold me close.
Help me see, what You want from me.

All happens for a reason,
though some things seem odd.
You let things happen for a reason,
God, You make me stronger!

Through some trials, things may not fit,
I can't see the whole puzzle.
I don't know the reasons.

God, help this piece see its purpose in the puzzle.
Help me see what I need to do.
Help me grow closer to You.

I hurt, I cry.
I need You, oh Most High.
Oh God, hear my voice.
See my tears, hold me close.
Help me see, what You want from me.

I don't always understand why,
I don't always see,
But I know that You know what's best,
I know You'll see me through.

Just please give me the strength to go on,
give me the words to say.

I'm healed, my tears are dried.
I needed You, oh Most High.
Oh God, You heard my voice.
You saw my tears, You held me close.

Student Life 2010

Okay, so I went to Student Life Camp this past week with my church. It was so totally awesome!!!!!!!!

Pastor Matt Chandler was the speaker and Aaron Keyes and his band were the worship leaders.

I learned many things this week, and I learned to trust God more. I know no matter what was going on, He was always there. God knew what was gonna happen.

It was so different than the other camps I've gone to, but a good kind of different. What was really awesome is I watched most of the guys in my group singing. I know, you're like so what? What was different than other guys I knew is that the guys from my church were worshiping. They weren't just singing to sing. It was soooo awesome! Yeah, there were guys I knew that sang, but it didn't go all the way down to their hearts. These guys, they are all in!

Matt Chandler is an awesome pastor(tied up there with Pastor JD, Jason Gaston, and Mark Driscoll :) ) His message the very first day really struck me. He talked about fixing the problem, not just the symptoms.

He said the problems are
-that we are guilty of of preferring God's stuff more than we prefer Him
-We think we are smarter than God
-all of us have failed to acknowledge God
-failing to acknowledge God makes you begin this spiral that takes you
further from God

These points, this whole message, remind me of so many times at camp of people making decisions. Not that these weren't good, like giving up smoking, reading your Bible more, etc., but they(including me) were making the same decisions every year at camp or a conference. It was like a spiritual shot, keeping us going until the 'buzz' wears off. For some it takes just a week for that shot to get old before they go back to old habits or forget to read their Bibles. Others it can last longer, but the problem wasn't solved. We hadn't really changed. We had only fixed the symptoms.

Matt Chandler said is we need to heal the problem. When we do, the symptoms just fade away.

Now I'm going back to my things from this week.

So God did miraculous things at camp.

I said that God has shown me how to trust in Him no matter what. It's a long story, way to long to write here, but something happened that was hard, really hard. I hurt so badly inside. I think I wouldn't have lasted the whole week if it hadn't been for Him. God helped me through it and now everything's awesome :)
God also helped a friend of mine return back to Him. It's an awesome story!

The sermons and the worship were so awesome! Many lives, I believe, have been changed this week.
It was amazing!

Thank you Jason Gaston for making this week possible! Wish you had been there with us!

Thank you Amy Kendall, Stephanie Windon, Brandon Hudson, and Andy Rush for coming with us and putting up with all of us highschoolers ;) I had so much fun talking and hanging out with y'all!

Love y'all!

~Erin