My Change

This is for the person that doesn't understand. Sorry it has taken me this long to write it and figure it all out...


I know some people that do not understand what happened to me. They think I am now a bad person. They think I have gone off the deep end. Well, I wish that they did not think that of me.

They ask me what changed. I try to tell them, but they throw it back into my face (which hurts like crazy). What changed is not what they think they see. No, it is inside.

So I have finally put it all together to make it hopefully easier to understand.

My personal change is how I now view Jesus.

Don't freak out when I say that. It is not anything bad. What I mean by that is now it is as if this completely new world was opened up to me!

How I viewed Him before was through someone else’s eyes. I believed in Him and all, but it was not real for me. He was just a piece of my life, a part. That is why I felt empty. The emptiness was from not having a truly personal relationship with Jesus, and not having Him at the center of my life. It was not knowing that He is Who it is all about.

Christ should be at the center of everything you do. All throughout the Bible, from 'in the beginning' to 'the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all' Jesus is there. Jesus is always there.

I saw that this is what we were made for, to worship Jesus and help others. Helping others helps show them Jesus' love for them. You can show anyone this love, the rebellious highschool dropout, the prisoners, the homeless, and the orphans.

With how I now view Jesus, I realized I was not doing everything I needed to. I was sitting comfortably in a good place. I thought this was what I was supposed to be doing, but after my change, I realized I was pitiful. I was not doing a very good job taking the Gospel out to people. No, I was just being where I was comfortable; I was staying in my comfort zone.

Is that what Jesus did? Did He stay where He was comfortable? Ha! I think it was quite the opposite. Tell me, what was Jesus usually doing? He was always on the move, always helping people (spiritually and physically), and teaching others of His Father.

Are we better than Jesus that we can just sit around? Hmm? Why should we humans think that we are better than Jesus is and so we can just do what we are comfortable doing.

Now you say, but I do not want to leave my comfort spot. I want to stay where all my friends are. I do not want to sacrifice my relationships! Jesus was just supposed to do those things!

What about Paul, God’s missionary? Did he live a comfortable life? Do you think that being beat down in the streets, thrown into prison, and whipped mercilessly was Paul’s idea of a comfortable life? Do you think that he did not have to make any sacrifices?

How did Paul feel through all this? Me personally I think that I would have been mad, sad, and even willing to give up, but not Paul. Look at what he said in Philippians 1:

“(12)I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, (13)so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. (14)And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.
“(15) Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. (16)The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. (17)The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. (18)What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
“Yes, and I will rejoice, (19)for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, (20)as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. (21)For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (22)If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. (23) I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. (24)But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. (25) Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, (26)so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
“(27)Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, (28)and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. (29)For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, (30)engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.”

Okay, so whoa. Check this guy out. By reading this, can’t you tell that Paul was totally consumed with Christ? Paul was always happy, always rejoicing in the One that saved him. It made him want to shout it! Even in a cold, dark prison cell, Paul sang in praise to Jesus!
Up in verses 18-21 Paul, whether with life or death, would always rejoice in Christ. ‘For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ Paul knew no matter what that Jesus was going to be with him.
That is why this man was rejoicing wherever he was. He knew that Christ was with him and Paul wanted to tell everyone! He advanced the Gospel no matter what the circumstances were.
This makes me want to be more like Paul. It makes me want to show others the love that Jesus has shown me.

It is not that I have to; it is that I want to! If I keep this awesome happiness stuffed down inside of me, I am not doing anything to help advance the Gospel. I am wasting my life when I do that.

I think I rabbit-trailed there on the end, but hey, I was getting excited! In short, this is my change: To keep Jesus at the center of my life. To advance the Gospel, no matter what happens, no matter the circumstances. To boast only in Him. To help others (hopefully both physically and spiritually). I want to show the world God’s Son and His awesome love for us.

If you have any questions, leave a comment and I will try my best to answer.